dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
