Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
