I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
