It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize