she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
