We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
