Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
