On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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