he shaved USA in his pubs
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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