The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dicks are not precious.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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