its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
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