the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So squirting runs in the family.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
