Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
