either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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