You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize