i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
