Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
