It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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