Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We are all done wearing pants today
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
