someone threw a dead crab at me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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