I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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