It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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