I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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