mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
MIDGETS
????
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
