Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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