So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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