It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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