In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
