She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
