Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
