You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize