Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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