K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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