And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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