will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize