someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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