so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
