Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
