Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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