I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's shark week go big or go home
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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