I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
