your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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