were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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