Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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