why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
