it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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