You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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