is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
