Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Bring me that man meat
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
