apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
