You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
