So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
bring money and cleavage
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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