Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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