in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
