I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
