love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize