I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
