and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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