just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize